Image by Victor Serban via Unsplash
Rebellion in the Promised Land (short story)
Frankly, he’s beginning to frighten us. We had to make a decision among ourselves. He’s changed, and we don’t like it. Hadn’t we just escaped from a land where one man decided the condition and fate of all our lives?
One day, for no reason that he revealed to us, he decided the men should no longer wear jewelry, not even rings or necklaces. Next day, he announced the women should refrain from wearing rings, bracelets, earrings, nose-rings, everything. There were rumors — he was going to take all the money and jewelry himself, to safeguard it. My wife and I weren’t the only ones who sewed our few valuables into the linings of our clothes. We’re still loyal to him, but we have an obligation to protect our families, don’t we?
Early one morning, a great cry circulated in the camp — he’d called a meeting. We hurried to his tent without even finishing our breakfasts. We thought someone had died, our pack animals had contracted some contagious disease, or the native population had become offended by our passage through their homeland and were about to declare war on us. Trembling and cold, we huddled around his tent in the faint pre-dawn light, afraid to breathe.
His announcement was worse than we’d anticipated. It wasn’t war or disease or death. He’d decided to ration the food. During the night, some of his family had gone through the camp, appropriating the food and taking it to his tent to ensure we had sufficient supplies to reach our destination. My wife gripped my arm so tightly it hurt. Food was all around us, every morning, on every bush and tree, manna from the Lord Himself, Blessèd Be His Name. In every waterhole, enough water for us and all our animals. Rationing? Had he gone mad spending so much time up in the mountains?
My brother eased his way through the crowd to stand beside me.
“Benjamin,” he said in a whisper, “what should we do?”
Mindfulness
Inner Calm: The Key is Letting Go | Mindful org
Allowing our emotions to arise, be felt, and dissolve helps us cultivate equanimity and inner calm. From this place of balance, we’re more resilient to what life throws at us.
Migraine
Top Recommended Books About Migraine to Inspire, Educate, and Empower | Migraine Again
Are you frustrated with how many migraine attacks you’re having and want to revisit your treatment options? Curious about why migraine is so stigmatized and underfunded? Feeling alone in your migraine battle? We’ve got the book for you!
Trauma & Sexual Abuse
Coping with Emotional and Psychological Trauma | RAINN
Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized.
RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call, Chat, or Text | RAINN
Since 1994, RAINN’s victim service programs have helped over 5 million survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones with support and resources that promote healing, hope, and courage. Call, chat, or text.
Mental Health
Find resources for a mental health crisis | Mental Health America
This collection of information and resources is designed to help you navigate difficult moments of crisis, offering tools and guidance to aid in your coping and recovery.
Finding Mental Health Help | Mental Health America
When your mental health is off, you want to get help to make it better. Fortunately, there are a wide range of treatments and supports. Unfortunately, they can be hard to find or pay for. We’re here to help.
Seeking help for a mental health problem | Mind UK
Seeking help is often the first step towards getting and staying well, but it can be hard to know how to start or where to turn to. It’s common to feel unsure, and to wonder whether you should try to handle things on your own. But it’s always ok to ask for help – even if you’re not sure you are experiencing a specific mental health problem.
Naked, with Glasses (Short Stories)
The same dark humor, morally ambiguous subject matter, and sophisticated treatment found in Szeman’s novels and poetry collections are present in her award-winning stories. Quirky characters abound. “BusMan,” in the story of the same name, re-invents himself as a superhero after an unexpectedly frightening incident on his daily route. Vincent, “Hunchback of the Midwest” and member of a traveling freak-show, regales his audience with tales of conquests over beautiful women, all the while longing for the one beauty he fears he will never possess. Thirty years after the end of the violently protested 1960-70’s “conflict,” the Vietnam War comes to a small town’s Convenience Store in the surprisingly affecting and disturbing “VC in the USA.”
Edgy, memorable, and engagingly written, these award-winning stories display another aspect of Szeman’s talent — that for short fiction. This collection is filled with distinct voices, unique characters, surprising plot-twists, and successful experimental writing innovations (such as “Sorry, Wrong Number, Redux,” which is entirely in dialogue. Grand Prize Winner of UKA Press’ International Writing Competition, this collection secures the author’s critically acclaimed reputation in this genre as well, adding to the accolades she has already garnered for her novels, poetry, and non-fiction.
• Grand Prize, UKA [United Kingdom Authors] Press International Creative Writing Competition
• Third Prize, Story Magazine’s “Seven Deadly Sins” Contest
Only with the Heart (a novel)
Part One: Claudia
Doubts are more cruel
than the worst of truths.
Molière
Chapter One
They got there sooner than I expected. I was waiting at the upstairs window, so I saw them when they arrived, their lights flashing, their sirens silent. There were two policemen, in two separate cars, and the paramedics in the ambulance. As they got out of the vehicles, the emergency lights turned everything a strange, pulsing red: the snow, the ice at the edge of the window, the bedroom where I stood. They slipped across the yard on their way to the front porch, their breath hanging white in the air. As they rushed up the front steps and disappeared from my view, I let go of the lace curtain and turned around to look at the body. I suppose I should’ve gone over to the bed and closed its eyes or covered its face, but I couldn’t make myself do it.
The squad stopped at all the other bedrooms on the floor before they found the right one. When they saw me and the body, they rushed in, plying stethoscope, oxygen mask, and blood pressure cuff, calling out to each other in their own telegraphic language. Their hands rushed as quickly as their words, but none of that made any difference. There was no life left in that body. There hadn’t been for ages.
All that time, I didn’t move or make a sound. When the policeman came over to me, he had to put his hand on my arm to get me to look at him. It was almost as if I were the one who was dead.
And to think that was only the beginning…
About Only with the Heart
When Claudia Sloane is arrested for the murder of her mother-in-law, everyone is stunned, especially her husband Sam. Claudia loved Eleanor as if she were her own mother and would never have hurt her. At least, that’s what Claudia insists. But even Sam begins to wonder how far Claudia would go in the name of love: did she help the terminally-ill Eleanor commit suicide?
During the widely publicized trial, Sam tries desperately to maintain his belief in his wife’s innocence despite the mounting evidence against her. Meanwhile, Claudia unwillingly begins to suspect that Sam may have helped his own mother commit suicide, but is letting his wife risk conviction for the murder.
Gripping and suspenseful, compassionate yet unflinchingly honest, Only with the Heart deals with the dreadful effects of terminal disease on its patients and their Caregivers, explores our primal need for acceptance and family ties, and examines the complex and evolving nature of love.
“Piercing, close-to-the-bone fiction.” — Barnes & Noble
“Bold and ambitious.” — San Francisco Mercury News
“[A] delicately structured, poignant novel of love, memory, & family responsibility.” — Publishers Weekly
(First edition published by Arcade, NYC; 12th Anniversary Edition, Revised & Expanded, Legally & Medically Updated, published by RockWay Press)
My Books
(Historical Fiction, Crime Fiction, Poetry, Short Stories, Memoir)
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The Alexandria Papers Newsletter on Substack is a bi-weekly newsletter that presents curated articles on mindfulness and meditation, migraine, healing from trauma and sexual abuse, and mental health. To receive new posts by email and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. I’m committed to having the entire archive free, but paid subscribers help cover the costs of research.
